Posts Tagged ‘travel’

Adventure! (The Day We Almost Didn’t Ride Horsies)

October 20, 2015 Leave a comment

After a lot of traveling yesterday, which can largely be summarized by this legitimately not-staged picture I took at a gas station: 

Eventually, we arrived at our hotel.

Like I mentioned, we’re staying in a fancy villa we could never afford if Fiance’s mother hadn’t been super awesome and given us a bunch of Disney points that were about to expire. It looks something like this:

It even has a bathroom with a jacuzzi tub inside a shower that has two shower heads. It’s like a magic little room of cleanliness.

Then Male Roommate proposed to me, and it was super sweet, and we cried at each other, and I said yes. Then I told him I was done feeling feelings, because there were too many of them. Then, he leaned in and whispered, “Hey, it’s only the beginning,” and we cried more, and then I yelled at him for making me feel more feelings.

After an evening of wandering around Downtown Disney, we fell asleep and awoke to the elephant footfalls of a stampeding toddler. And thus began our first full day at the resort.

Me and the girls had a horseback riding reservation that day at 11. I had this whole Disney public transport route planned out that required us to leave at 9:30, but then Male Roommate and Best Friend decided to go grocery shopping. Fashion Friend and I were like, “You’re not going to have time to do that.” But they were determined, so they went out to buy food to cook in our kitchenette while Fashion Friend and I walked down to wait on the first bus. Then, we waited on the second bus. Then, we waited on the Ferry. I was really starting to worry about missing the reservation, when finally, we spotted this boat in the distance.

It was not our boat. At this point it was 12 minutes till 11 and I was sure I was about to be charged for a trail ride I wouldn’t get to take. Luckily, I was able to call and change my reservation for a later time. After the right boat came in and we caught one last bus, we finally arrived and met up with Best Friend, who had been waiting since 10:59.

“Hey,” she said. “I forgot sunscreen. Want to run back by the room? It’s like an eight minute drive”

And then I cried forever. And by forever I mean until there were horsies.

After a trip to Downtown Disney…

…a lovely dinner of salmon and polenta courtesy of amazing Fiancé…


…and a fight with the DVD player in our room, we watched “Something Wicked This Way Comes” on a laptop and called it a night.


Adventure! (And Then Male Roommate Got Sneaky)

October 18, 2015 Leave a comment

So, I have some pictures and stuff from us driving to Orlando and exploring our swanky treehouse digs, but then Male Roommate ruined my nice little travel narrative by proposing.


My hands are weird shaped. But the ring is pretty. Just look at the ring.

So now I guess I’m going to marry him or something. And I guess I oughta start calling him Fiancé. I’ll make a better story of it later, I swear, but right now, I’m gonna live life for a few instead of writing about it. Peace, y’all!

Adventure! (On the Way to Disney World)

October 17, 2015 Leave a comment

It was a long drive, during which we were stalked by a wild McDonalds…


There it was… lurking in the woods. Luckily, we lost it a little ways down the interatate.

…crossed the Mississippi River…


It had a bridge!

…and drove through a tunnel under a river…

(I was too excited to take a picture.)

…we arrived at our first destination, a stopover in Daphne, Alabama, with a semi-stocked kitchenette. Since it had only one bowl, I did the only reasonable thing I could do.


This picture needs no explanation.

And with that, I leave you, Internet. Good night. 

Adventure! (The Prologue)

October 17, 2015 Leave a comment

Yesterday I got a promotion. So what am I going to do now, you ask? I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!! No. Really. Right now. Tiny Roommate is running around the living room screaming “Adventure!” and everything. Stay tuned for updates, my friends. Shenanigans may ensue.


Sleepy Babies: The Ultimate Fashion Accessory

Last weekend, the roommates and I went on a mini vacation to Houston and Galveston where we met up with Artist Friend. After a day of wandering around Seawall Boulevard and playing in the surf, we wanted to end our trip with some fresh seafood, preferably crab. We checked out several lower scale local eateries, but most did not serve crab, or were out of it, so we decided to go to a nicer place as a last hurra. We came straight from the beach, of course, and figured that since the restaurant was along the Seawall, half of its clientell would be in shorts and swimsuit tops and smeared with sand. We were wrong. While the place was far from black tie, everyone else was sitting with their spouses in polo shirts and slacks. We were definitely the most white-trash people there. However, we carried with us a secret weapon. Completely tuckered out from the excitement of his first trip to the ocean Tiny Roommate had fallen asleep in the car, and though he woke up when I removed him from the carseat, he promptly fell back asleep on my shoulder. When we entered the restaurant, the whispers that followed us weren’t, “God, why are those people in out restaurant,” they were, “Isn’t he beautiful?”

Against the backdrop of my humidity-frizzed hair, neon green short shorts and the oversized black shirt covered in skulls I’d borrowed from Male Roommate to ward off the evening’s chill, Tiny Roommate’s powers of adorableness reached new hights. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that I looked like I really did live in a box, Artist Friend was wearing little more than a bikini top, Female Roommate had blue hair and fresh lip piercings, Male Roommate’s hair was three times the size of his head or that our group didn’t match the rest of the typical family units sitting around the restaurant. It was as if the cuteness of Tiny Roommate created a forcefield of invisibility, or maybe even acceptance, around the rest of us.

Which made me realize that Tiny Roommate may be an invaluable asset when it comes time for me to make the inevitable turn to a life of crime.

Because modern banks keep all of their reserves in Sacagawea dollars.

Because modern banks keep all of their reserves in Sacagawea dollars.


Yes. I think this will work.

Fort Worth, Day 4 and The Journey Home

It was our last full day in Fort Worth. I saw my mother off to her business trip that morning. I said goodbye to my father that evening. I said hello to some of Female Roommate’s old friends that night. Really, I don’t know what to say about the day that can make it sound as exciting as the day before. I now realize it’s because I forgot to wear my super hero cape.

The next morning when we were packing up to leave I threw it on to make sure I wouldn’t forget it. I then wrestled my stuff into the suitcase, stomped the moisture from the clogged air conditioner out of the carpet with paper towels, and recycled the crap out of some cans. I lost a battle of wits with the dishwasher, but even Manlier Name Than Mr. Sparkle Gauntlets Woman can’t win ’em all. On the way home, I fit into Male Roommate’s car, which is a heroic feat without any fancy verbs or modifiers, I heroically ate an almond croissant at a gas station, and I distracted Tiny Roommate from the perils of being in a car seat for four hours. If there’s one thing I took away from this trip, it’s this: everything is more epic when you are wearing a cape, even menial tasks like brushing your hair.

Take that, tangles!

The saga of my latest journey may be over, but stay tuned for an exciting announcement in the coming days.

Fort Worth, Day 3, or The Day A True American Hero Was Born

June 26, 2012 1 comment

Today was the day we had been waiting for, the day we were able to drop Tiny Roommate off with his grandparents and go to Six Flags over Texas with Friend Who Doesn’t Live With Us. Little known to us, it was also the birthday of one of this nation’s greatest heroes.

After a series of delays, we arrived at Six Flags at about noon. We started the day with several kiddy rides including the spinning Mexican Hat, (that did not sort us into houses, much to male roommate’s disappointment) the swing ride (which still fills me with way more glee than it should) and the antique car ride (which was run by No Sense of Humor Man). On the last of these, we crammed four adults into one miniature model T and rode around the track with fake monocles, speaking in British accents about the quality of our driver (because all people from the olden days spoke in British accents). When the ride operator met us at the end and drove us the final few yards, he asked if we had enjoyed the ride.

“Indubitably,” said Male Roommate. “It was a fine ride, and I would recommend this chauffeur to all of my moneyed friends.

“The exit is to your left. Enjoy your day at Six Flags,” the man said to us in a monotone, then drove the tiny car away like we were just another gaggle of screaming six-year-olds.

To make up for his lack of joy, we went to play in one of the misters. Male Roommate discovered that if he stood in one for a few seconds, the water droplets would collect on his arm hair, and when he stood in the sun, his arms would glitter. He proceeded to strike a heroic pose and proclaimed that he was Mr. Sparkle Gauntlets. I proceeded to make fun of him for the rest of the day.

I won’t go into too much detail about the roller coasters we road or the ten dollar hamburgers we were eventually forced to purchase. They were fun and okay, respectively, but neither are very interesting to read about.

What I will tell you about is the most important thing that happened that day, possibly the most important thing that will ever happen.

We were walking by a gift shop adorned with various super hero paraphernalia when male and female roommate paused.

“If they’re not too expensive, do you want to get Elise a cape and make her wear it around the park all day?” said Male Roommate.

“Yes.” Female roommate giggled maniacally. The capes, as it turned out, were cheaper than the food.

“You guys don’t have to get me a cape,” I said.

“Are you sure you don’t want a cape?” said Male Roommate.

“Yeah. That would be silly,” I said.

They totally bought me a cape.

I was the only adult wearing a sparkly pink and silver Superman cape, and I was ecstatic. I was especially excited about wearing my new cape on the Merry-Go-Round. We talked loudly about how cool it would be all the way through the eight-person line. Then, the girl working the ride asked me to take off my cape. Plus, she addressed me as “sweet heart,” which was incredibly insulting seeing that I was obviously a super hero.

I understand why they don’t let people wear capes on the roller coasters, but the Merry-Go-Round? Really? Am I going to get sucked into the machinery as it spins at half a mile per hour? No. I’m not. The only reason this woman could have possibly wanted me to take off my cape was that she is my nemesis, and if I had been allowed to ride the Merry-Go-Round while wearing a sparkly, pink cape, I would have achieved a level of awesomeness that she could never hope to defeat. We will meet again, Merry-Go-Round lady, and this time, there will be justice.

We ended up leaving six flags early, hot and exhausted. I couldn’t understand it. Last time, we’d arrived near opening and stayed almost to the time the park closed with no trouble at all. Then, I realized that the first time we had come in April, and this time, it was late June. Not even my super powers could make the weather nicer.

That night, as we relaxed at home, I realized that I needed an amazing name to go with my amazing cape. And then it struck me like a sword lobbed out of a lake by a watery tart. I was More Manly Name than Mr. Sparkle Gauntlets Woman! I would save the world from such perils as No Sense of Humor Man, Merry-Go-Round Lady and needing to get a drink out of the fridge when you’re too lazy to get up syndrome.

Fighting bad guys and bringing you cold drinks since 2012.

My powers include eating croissants, an acute lack of shame and narrowly missing ceiling fans when jumping off of couches. That last one was totally worth the risk because my cape got all capey when I was falling. My weaknesses include surprise, big, scary roaches, cuddles, gravity and stupid rules about wearing capes on rides. My primary goal, aside from saving the world, is going to a nice restaurant. I see good things in my future, my friends. Good things.